Banzai Blasters

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“	Arnold: Villainy is a dog-eat-dog world, little boy. You gotta be cutthroat to survive! That's why every moron stays a minion, and the people with any REAL value move up! Bugsy: That's how it is all the way to the Tippy-top of the pyramid scheme!	”
—"Redwood Run"

The Banzai Blasters are an infamous criminal organization in Sweet Jazz City that runs on a pyramid scheme. It primarily appeals to teenage delinquents and disenfranchised divorcees. ^[1]

History

Past

Sometime after the organization's founding, low-ranking Banzai Blasters and Captains became notorious for small and petty crime. Eventually, the Sweet Jazz Police began to ignore them, viewing any time to deal with the ruffians as not worth it.^[1]

Bugsy Pugsler and Arnold Markdown joined the Banzai Blasters. Both managed to be promoted to Banzai Vice Principals.

Dark Star, Car Crash, Crusher, Ben, Flamethrower, and Spike joined the Banzai Blasters and became apart of a leaderless Banzai team.^[1]

Giovanni Potage joined the Banzai Blasters and was assigned to the leaderless team with the aforementioned six blasters. He was initially mocked by his teammates for bringing cupcakes to their first meeting. However, Giovanni unofficially led several of their missions, including replacing a gas station's hot dogs with cattails and stealing miscellaneous items to present at team-based show-and-tells. The rest of the team warmed up to him, causing Dark Star to unintentionally give him the nickname "Boss" from the team following his ideas. The name stuck within the group.^[1] Giovanni was eventually promoted to Banzai Captain.^[2]

"Museum Arc"

to be added

"Western Arc"

to be added

Ranks

Banzai Blaster

Banzai “Blaster” is the lowest rank that someone can be in the organization. At first, you’re just a generic grunt in the generic uniform (ex: Ben). Once you’ve done something cool enough to make you stand out, you get a nickname and you’re allowed to customize your costume a little bit (ex: Car Crash). Anyone who wants to become a blaster has to pay $49.99 a month (plus tax).

Banzai Captain

Banzai Captains, like Giovanni, get to lead missions and get to add one big accessory to their outfit along with a few other subtle changes. Giovanni, for example, added a cape.

Banzai Vice Principal

Being a Banzai Vice-Principal gives you multiple benefits such as even more customization options and silly cartoon gloves (ex: Arnold & Bugsy) Vice Principals come in pairs but only one of them is ever able to rank up. This is apparently done to encourage infighting.

Banzai Associate Justice

TBA

Banzai Valedictorian

TBA

Banzai Senpai

TBA

Banzai Baron

Supposed leader(s) of the Banzai Blasters.

Members

"Yeah! Those are... words!"

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Banzai Vice Principals

Bugsy Pugsler

to be added

Arnold Markdown

to be added

Banzai Blasters

Jen, Jenny, and Niffer

"You see, the trick of this challenge is figuring out what to do with an incomplete recipe."

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Three female Banzai Blasters, based off the Heathers from the film and musical of the same name. Jello states their names in the Episode Seven commentary.

Former Members

"Yeah! Those are... words!"

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Captains

Giovanni Potage

Giovanni Potage is a former Banzai Captain. Giovanni was originally going to deliver the Arsene Amulet to "the big boss" so that he could get a promotion to the next Banzai Rank before Bugsy and Arnold decided to steal it for themselves so they could get the promotion and let the rest of their minions beat him up. After being humiliated by his fellow Banzai Blasters, Giovanni decided to quit the organization to become a great supervillain all on his own, because he disapproves of the way the Banzai Blasters treat their minions.

Blasters

Flamethrower

Flamethrower is a former passionate member of the Banzai Blasters who, alongside Car Crash and Ben, is tasked to keep watch over Molly in "Quiet in the Museum!". He does male cheerleading on weekends which he is ashamed to admit, and according to Car Crash "he had the coolest name".

Car Crash

Car Crash is a former member of the Banzai Blasters that's infamous for getting in car accidents. He, alongside Flamethrower and Ben, is tasked to keep watch over Molly in "Quiet in the Museum!".

Ben

File:Ben2.png

Ben is the most dim-witted former member of the Banzai Blasters who, alongside Flamethrower and Car Crash, is tasked by Giovanni to keep watch over Molly in "Quiet in the Museum!". Due to his inexperience and lack of a "cool minion nickname", it is safe to assume that Ben must be a new recruit. While the other members seem to care about safety and are relatively harmless, Ben seems to have no problem with beating up a small defenseless little girl and had absolutely no remorse when his fellow Banzai Blaster Flamethrower got knocked out cold by Indus. It seems that he is the least liked among the group's ranks because of his dim-witted nature.

Ben has white skin and orange hair. Since he has yet to earn his "cool" villain nickname, he's forced to wear a generic uniform and isn't allowed to customize it at all yet.

Ben reappears in the advertisement HEIST NIGHT as a sellable plushie, along with Car Crash who disguised himself as Ben for their upcoming stealth mission to steal the Ocean's Eye. Ben accidentally falls down form the air vent and is too weak to lift the diamond. It appears that Giovanni accidentally abandoned Ben when the former leaves to steal ice-cream.

Crusher

Crusher is a former member with a large build. His nickname comes from his huge crush on Giovanni. He often gives Giovanni confessional gifts but Giovanni tends to eat them.^[3]

Spike

Spike is a purple-haired female former member with spikes on her uniform's wrist guards and her helmet. Like Crusher, she holds a major crush on Giovanni.

Dark Star

to be rewriteen

Dark Star is a former member who has a cosmic/celestial-themed uniform. Though it wasn't confirmed, it is mentioned on JelloApocalypse's Tumblr that he might have an epithet ^[4]. It was used for the sake of a joke, in which he teleports and has two of him onscreen at once. His epithet would most likely be "Binary", like in Binary Star Systems.

His home bedroom has stars all over the ceiling.^[5]

Merch

Doll

A Banzai Blaster doll was sold on Makeship.com.^[6]
- They sold out/ended on October 16. 2020.^[6]
These Dolls appeared in HEIST NIGHT.^[7]

Hoodie

Because the Prison of Plastic Kickstarter reached the $310K stretch goal, the backers got to vote to make either a Molly or Banzai Blaster Hoodie. The Molly hoodie won the poll and the Banzai Blaster Hoodie was never produced.
Both Hoodies would have been produced at the $375K stretch goal, but it wasn't reached in time.

Trivia

The "W"s on the Banzai Blasters' uniforms are actually confirmed to be sideways "B"s for Banzai^[8].
Three of the Banzai Blasters are a Heathers reference^[9].
- Since all three of them are named Jennifer, the crew goes with their nicknames Jenny, Jen and Niffer respectively.^[10]
- JelloApocalypse said that the blonde Jennifer is his favorite, despite the fact that she "absolutely doesn't matter and doesn't have a name"^[11].
The Banzai Blasters were heavily influenced by Team Rocket and Giovanni's pink hair was inspired by the team's grunts having pink hair^[12].
- The Banzai Blasters were also named after the Bushido Blasters from Girlchan in Paradise!!.
If one of Giovanni's boys mentioned that they didn’t like being called a "Boy" he’d stop, but to him "MY BOYS" is a gender-neutral term, hence why he calls Molly and Spike boys.^[13]
Jello imagines that the Banzai Blasters have a small unit who goes around and shakes down members for late fees, but that probably only happens if you’re at Captain rank or higher.^[14]
There are so many low-ranking Banzai Blasters that Jello doesn’t really think they care if they stop paying and fall off the map.^[15]
People solely join this organization because they are idiots.^[16]
The higher the rank, the nastier and more dangerous a Banzai member is.^[17]
If the Banzai Blasters were a group of villains from a Pokémon game, they would use Falinks as the grunts' main Pokémon. ^[18]
Jello stated that male Banzai Blasters uses the generic model of Ben.^[19]
Molly was an unofficial member, since she joined Giovanni's team. Although since Giovanni left the Banzai Blasters this no longer applies.
In general, the organization is not environmentally conscious.^[20]