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"Hah! Is that it!?"
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This subject of article or section pertains to a script that was never planned to be produced.
"Because you are."
The subject of this article or section has been deemed Non-Canon and should not be taken as canonical to the World of Epithet Erased.
Campground Ghost Stories AU is the third of the skits showcased during the first stream of the 5 Years of Epithet and well as the fifth Unproduced Script over all.
Synopsis[edit | edit source]
to be added
Cast Members[edit | edit source]
- Ant as Howdy Morning/Bartender
- Bryn Apprill as Phoenica Fleecity
- Dani Chambers as Molly Blyndeff
- Lindsay Sheppard as Stonk
- Kyle Igneczi as Giovanni Potage
- Tiana Camacho as Lorelai Blyndeff
- Justice Washington as Howie Honeyglow
- Cyrus Rodas Dark Star
- Meg McClain as Spike
- Dawn M. Bennett as Zora Salazar
- Brendan Blaber as Ben and Narrator
- Oz Ryan as Trixie Roughhouse
Plot[edit | edit source]
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In an alternate universe, at a campground, many recognisable characters sit around a campfire. One of the camp counselors, Howdy Morning sits down on a log. He is a respectable 8% more lucid in this alternate world. He holds a flashlight under his chin and exclaims that it is time for scary stories. Howdy also says the reason each of them will hold the flashlight under their chin's when telling their stories. It is because the chin is the scariest part of the human body, and it should be emphasized for dramatic effect. Unlike how many people tell scary stories, in this alternate universe one person starts a story and everyone else must find the scariest way to finish it. He holds up a merit badge for scary storytelling, and states that whoever tells the best scary story will earn it.
Stonk calls out to Phoenica Fleecity, mocking her fear of ghost stories. Feenie calls back, stating that her desire to have every merit badge triumphs over her "certain aversion" to scary stories. Stonk snaps back, saying she won't be able to muster telling a scary story. Feenie then brags that she has come up with a doozy of a story whilst studying scary stories with an expert. Stonk expresses doubt.
Howdie starts the ghost story. He sets the scene as a moonless sky draped over a patch of forest eerily similar to that of the forest this alternate universe camp takes place in. Upon a long dirt road drove a pair of teenagers driving a banged up old station wagon. The two teenagers driving the car look like Giovanni Potage and Lorelai Blyndeff. They both voice their love of driving down dirt roads and doing teenager things, like drinking legal beverages and studying academic subjects. They seem to especially love being between the ages of thirteen and nineteen. But suddenly, the engine stutters and dies down. Lorelai voices her concern, but Giovanni says they can just leave their safe vehicle and look at the damage. It seems as if there is no way to fix the engine, stranding the two teenagers alone in the woods. They both state an idea of what to do, Giovanni suggesting searching for cool bugs. Lorelai suggests they kiss. She goes unheard and pretends to agree with Giovanni whilst curled up in a ball on the floor and weeping violently. Suddenly a mysterious sound echoes from the forest. Giovanni goes into the forest carrying all of the two teenagers emergency supplies. Lorelai is about to protest, but Giovanni walks off.
Feenie continues the story. Feenie describes Giovanni walking through the woods, ever so frightened. He eventually came upon a clearing, with a shadowy and foreboding creature in it's center. As his eye's adjusted ,he realised he was face to face with a grizzly bear. Molly Blyndeff cuts in and makes comment from outside the story. She says Feenie wins due to the presence of a bear in her story. Feenie continues telling the story. The bear turns to face Giovanni and speaks to him. The bear turns out to be Howie Honeyglow in a bear costume. Howie tells Giovanni not to fear him, but to fear the message he brings. He the questions Giovanni, asking him if he questioned or cared what he ran over with his car. It turns out it was a beehive, smushed and held aloft by the Howie. Howie then gives a statistic that as much as 40% of certain bee populations have decreased in the last 15 years. Giovanni then states that he doesn't care, because he is a no good rapscallion. Lorelai enters the clearing, using a harmful hairspray like whipped cream, spraying it directly in her mouth with no concern of how that affects the ozone. Howie concludes his warning by making ghost noises and waving his arms as he walks away. The teenagers ended up fixing their car and going home. They forgot about their strange encounter soon enough. Eventually, they were married and bought the home of their dreams. Due to the teens uncaring nature towards bees, their lawn was dead without flowers, and fruit prices skyrocketed. The two grab each other and cry out to the heavens. Feenie ends with a call for for action and fear.
Everyone boo's her, even her best friend Molly. Howdy says in a very unapologetic tone that her story was bad. Stonk compares her story to a streets smart episode, and then begins to tell a story.
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Trivia[edit | edit source]
- This is the third time a Non-Canon piece of media was explicitly called an alternate universe. The first time was Bubblegum Renegade and the second time was Percy and Howie Film Noir AU.
Gallery[edit | edit source]
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References[edit | edit source]
External Links[edit | edit source]
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